Dear Friends and Family,

Welcome to the 14th annual Thanksgiving Missive. (I was counting incorrectly all these years. I stated last year that it was the 12th annual, but it was actually the 13th 😳). Once again, this is the time of year that I subject you all to me bearing my soul and declaring the reasons for my gratitude. This tradition started in 2006 as I was about to begin a new, and what turned out to be, final adventure in my very diverse financial services career. It was a difficult time at home as Jeanmarie was recovering from her spinal cord surgery, and at the same time a very exciting time in my career. The message that year was to say “Thank you” to family, friends and colleagues who were part of that journey.

For those of you who have been part of this tradition, (some of you from the very beginning), I hope that I have not bored you with my narcissistic babble over the years. For those who are new to this tradition I say, “Welcome!” As always, if anyone wants to be excluded from these annual emails, please let me know. I will not be offended, I promise. (BTW, I still have not found copies of the missives from 2006 through 2009. If anyone has them I would be grateful if you would forward them to me. They were sent from work emails and I never kept them, thanks)

Last year's missive was about "impermanence". In it I stated, "Since [our experiences] are impermanent, it makes sense to 'grab hold' of each moment and relish the experience, otherwise the moment is gone and in the past. Therefore, I now try to be grateful for 'now'." A close cousin to "not taking life's experiences for granted" is not taking for granted those with whom we share those experiences. This is the theme for the current missive.

This year I would like to not only send a message of peace and gratitude, but also to honor two family members who are no longer with us. We lost two love ones this year; Jeanmarie's mom ("Mama") who was 94 years old and our cousin Steve who we lost suddenly just a little over a week ago.

With Mama's passing our family has lost the last family member who was part of the "greatest generation", and our matriarch. It surely was and end of an era. Mama was short in stature while at the same time she was larger than life to those fortunate enough to call her wife, mom, Mama, Aunt Katty, Aunt Kathryn or simply Katty. Katty lived a good, honest and sometimes challenging life. Throughout her life she showed a never ceasing love for her family of; 8 children (and resulting in-laws),16 grand kids (and related spouses), and 8 great grand kids (plus baby Atticus who arrived just a few months ago). She lived a full life and we miss her terribly.

Steve Erlandson was our "Seattle cousin" (on Jeanmarie's side). He was 73 and retired from a long career just a few years ago. He was so excited to be retired and he began to travel to places he always wanted to visit. He had major travel plans for future years as well. In fact, just this past summer he and I had a long conversation about his "travel strategy". Steve had an infectious personality. You knew when Steve was in the house 😁. He loved to laugh, dance and he had a penchant for practical jokes to go along with his incredibly sarcastic wit. Since his retirement we saw him often and he became a favorite of the millennials in the family. Jeanmarie, her brother Jamie and I were fortunate to have the honor of being by his bedside, along with Seattle loved ones, when he passed. His death was relatively sudden which made this difficult. We miss him already.

Peggy Tabor Millin said, "We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace." The impact of knowing both Mama and Steve was so much more than a "trace". Their love was profound.

Witnessing someone's death rips away the metaphorical eye-shades that usually prevents us from being aware of our own mortality. It is at times such as this that we become more alive and aware of our own lives and those people in our lives. At least that's how it was for me. This then begs the question, why does it take the death of a loved one to awaken these senses? Why not live with, and be aware of, the gratitude for all of the people in our lives? As Ms. Millin's quote alludes, anyone we encounter along our journey has an impact on who we become, even more so those who are close to us such as family and friends. We are all a product of our past experiences and many of those experiences are shared with those who are closest to us. That alone should make us aware of the gratitude we feel for those that we love and who love us back.

My pledge for the holiday season, and hopefully beyond is to make sure I re-focus my gratitude towards those that have impacted my life in the past and continue to do so in the present, especially those of you who are part of this annual tradition. I thank all of you for being a part of my journey, and while I may not see some of you all that often please know that because we have known each other you have had an influence over who I have become. For that I am very grateful.

Of course, while all of you have had an impact on how I have grown, the love and guidance that Jeanmarie has provided me is paramount to that growth. I am so thankful, and fortunate, that she came into my life 40 years ago.

It's an exciting time for each one of our kids. They are each entering transition periods in their life journeys, including Katty's pending nuptials to her fiance Tim, (prior to first meeting Tim I got a warning from Katty, "BE NICE! We like him". I guess she wasn't kidding. 😘). I am grateful that I get the opportunity to be a witness, and sometime participate in, each of their journeys.

One again, it's been quite a year.

Everyone, please have a safe Thanksgiving and holiday season. Please be kind and civil to one another and I wish you all future “nows” filled with peace, contentment and gratitude. Let's not take each other for granted!

In gratitude and love,
Tom (a/k/a TK, Kernsy, #papakerns, Hit Man, Grandpa, the Professor, Face, Mr. Bean, PT (poor Tom), Timbo, and of course “Tickles” – don’t ask).