Dear Friends and Family:

Welcome to the 11th Annual Kerns Thanksgiving Missive. For the past 10 years I have subjected my old work colleagues, family and friends to a missive about my personal reasons for being thankful, whether they wanted to hear it or not.  It is about why I am thankful for the opportunity to experience the love and friendship of the people who make up my life and to be able to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves to us every day.   

For those who are new to this tradition, welcome, and to those who are veterans I hope you’re not yet tired of receiving my annual message of “thanks” (if you are, please let me know and I'll remove you from the list - I won't take it personally)……

An additional caveat. These messages are very personal. I would like everyone to know that I write them as a way to show my gratitude, and I hope that no one ever takes offense. Last year I broke my own rule and included some thoughts about our national politics. Again, what I write every year I feel very deeply, and obviously the result of last year’s election was upsetting to me. If I offended anyone with my comments, please forgive me it was not my intention. I promise no politics this year.

One more apology……this year it’s a long one 😊

Each year as Thanksgiving approaches I spend a bit of alone time taking an inventory of the people, things and events for which I am grateful. I tend to focus on the year that just past and it often reminds me to give life’s challenges and rewards some perspective. In doing so, I have come to appreciate, no….rely on, what I have begun to think of as the spiritual trifecta; gratitude, humility and forgiveness.

In past Thanksgiving “missives” I focused on a number of themes. One of those themes was giving thanks to those people who are no longer with us who were instrumental in shaping my character and influenced who I was as a person. One of these people was my dad, not surprisingly. He is prominent in my thoughts lately because in a couple of months I will be the same exact age that he was when he passed away.

Like all of us, my dad had his challenges. He had a very rough childhood growing up in a large, very poor family without a father who had died when my dad was 5 years old. His single mom was barely able to feed her six children. Dad was the youngest child, and like many children growing up during the great depression he quit school to go to work to help support the family. He really had no parental role model, per se, as a number of his older siblings were alcoholics. As a father, he did the best he could. Despite these challenges what I remember most about him was that he was a man that believed in honesty and character. That was his legacy, at least for me. While I have failed at times, I believe, or at least I hope, that overall I have continued that legacy. I have my father, James M. Kerns to thank for that!

This year’s theme is not just about my dad’s legacy. Legacies are important as that is how each of us continues to live beyond our time here on earth. However, it is how we live now, in the present moment that is the real value. I strive to focus on the present.

This year I am also reflecting on retirement…..

Seven years ago, my gratitude message was focused on all of the experiences and people I met throughout my 30 year career. It was in 2010 that I decided to leave that career and embark on a new journey that I called “retirement”. Now, seven years later, it is obvious that this declaration was premature. Please indulge me as I reflect on my experiences since I declared I was retired. Since that time:

• We launched a local charity, and after 4 years of doing some good work for which I am very proud we had to close it down,

• Embarked on a journey to save a struggling local restaurant only for it to close after a 4-year effort,

• I was the executive producer of an album recorded by a dear friend, (Alexander Kariotis and the Rock Opera Orchestra. Check it out. It’s great!),

• Attempted to purchase, restore and renovate a historic property in town only to be thwarted by NIMBYISM,

• In 2011 I joined the board of the local YMCA for which I am currently the Vice Chair,

• In 2012 I joined the board of She’s the First, (shesthefirst.org, please check them out), and have served as their Vice Chair from which I am retiring effective at the end of this year,

• For the past 3 years I have been the CFO for a start-up technology firm called t3 Interactive, LLC, (D/B/A Presentr, presentr.me) which continues to grow and mature. I have announced my retirement from T3 also effective at the end of this year, (while still being a member of their Board), and

• Other miscellaneous and sundry projects.

So, you see, while not all of these ventures were successful or lasting, using the term “retirement” in 2010 was obviously not reality. That is changing. All of these ventures will have come to an end by the end of this year, (with the exception of the YMCA, for which I have committed to for one more year, and as a board member of T3), and while some people who are close to me are skeptical, (I don’t blame them), I am committed to embracing retirement in 2018.

Why did I just subject you to all of this? I’m not really sure. Maybe it was to remind myself to be thankful for these events and the folks who accompanied me, (or put up with me), on this seven-year journey, (a/k/a my post-mid-life crisis). To list all those individuals who shared this journey would be impossible (most of you are receiving this email anyway), and I would be afraid to leave anyone out. Let me just say that I am grateful for each and every one of you, and I am humbled so many had/have put their faith and trust in me and stood by me. I thank all of you for that!

I continue to be grateful for all of my life’s experiences as they continue to shape who I am and what I feel in my soul. I am so grateful for all of the people in my life, past and present. I am also grateful that I have reconnected with some college friends whom I have not seen in over 20 years. These are the folks with whom I shared some amazing experiences in those very formative years. I am thankful for them!

I believe we are all molded by the people in our lives, including strangers, and it is my hope that I have been a positive influence on others. We are all in this together. I hope we can all understand and appreciate this fact of life.

To the Kerns and Hargrave families (including those that are no longer with us), you have had a major influence on who I am, and I can’t begin to give ample justice to how grateful I am that you are in my life.

The three young women, our daughters; Katty, Maura and Erin continue to teach this old “retired” man the lessons of the spiritual trifecta. I am so grateful for their guidance. I love you; Goose, Sunshine and Erin Bear.

None of these journeys would be possible without the guidance, disagreements, frustrations, patience (see above comment about “put up with me”), and love that Jeanmarie has blessed me with for the past 38 years. It has been her steady hand that has guided me down certain paths when I encountered many of life’s crossroads. Jeanmarie, thank you, and I love you so much.

Everyone, please have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving and holiday season. Please be kind and civil to one another.

In gratitude and love,
Tom (a/k/a TK, #papakerns, Kernsy, Hit Man, Grandpa, the Professor, Face and of course “tickles” – don’t ask)